“I love you but I don’t like you right now” - that’s a phrase my mom would use when at her wits end. Luckily, I never drove her to this, but others certainly have (you know who you are). It’s only recently I’ve realized the wisdom in that sentiment.
This past week, our beautiful commonwealth was subjected to yet another media mud fest between our governor and state AG. This whole situation past the point of ridiculousness sometime last year. I’m just embarrassed that adults can’t work through their issues in a positive way without resorting to Facebook videos, tweets, and selfies. Yes, I’m talking about grown men who were elected to lead, not teenage girls. *cough*
For some reason, while mulling this situation over in my head, my mom’s words came back to me: “I love you, but I don’t like you right now.”
How would this whole situation be different if our elected officials would stop treating each other as opposition? What would happen, if people would simply start from a place of love. How would the conversation change, if people were to speak to each other like they would a family member or a teammate? Now, I'm not talking about froo-froo lame love. I'm talking the kind of love where you can be honest with each other. The kind of love where you give the other person the benefit of the doubt and work through your issues. I'm talking full on phileo-level love.
You are my fellow human being. We’re in this [state/country/world/community/church/school/workplace] together. We’re on the same team. I don’t agree with you and you drive me nuts, but I understand you have a reason for [thinking/doing/saying] what you do. Help me understand.
Granted, this doesn’t always do the trick. People who love each other still argue, fight, and fuss. Sometimes, it still feels like a one sided conversation when the other person isn’t engaged. But, I’d argue we are much more likely to forgive and listen to those we care about than those we don't. We’re also more able to laugh at ourselves and each other. We also are more able to call each other on our respective crap and help each other become better people.
Our state just seems to be a microcosm of the national climate. We have people in power now that seem to focus on escalating conflict versus working through it. We have various groups of people who are just as focused at escalation (e.g. Madonna’s consideration of blowing up the White House. Seriously? I mean.. seriously??? /insert Material World joke here).
Social media is FILLED with hate and spite right now. Complaining, gloating, and baiting. All because we see the other side as the opposition. “Those” people want to remove my rights. “Those people” want to kill babies. “Those people” refuse to listen to reason (meaning they refuse to agree).
I keep going back to that lesson I learned from my mom. I can love you without liking you. I can love you without agreeing with you.
How much could we accomplish for climate change, women’s rights, human dignity, end to violence, compassionate immigration, effective education, and overall public discourse if we just decided to see each other through a lens of love.
What if it's that simple?
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