We know nothing, so we should stop acting like we do. Yes, I’m talking about you, I’m talking about me, I’m talking about everyone.
I’ve been listening to season 1 of Revisionist History, by Malcolm Gladwell. Just finished the episodes “Carlos doesn’t remember”, “Food Fight” and “My Little Hundred Million”. What stood out to me, is how little I understand any of these folks. I wasn’t a foster kid in an extremely dangerous inner city school, I’m not a rich philanthropist (yet *looks at lottery ticket*), and I’m not an educator. Each of them face very different problems than what I do on a day to day basis.
As someone with an engineering background, my whole life is about solving problems. My initial response is to jump in and start working on solutions. I’m sure many of you have that same trait. It isn’t a bad thing, but let me throw something in here - problems are complex, especially when dealing with human beings. Socio-economic issues are ever-shifting globs of goo. They are slippery and sometimes extremely hard to grasp.
When I approach problems, I’m typically approaching it with 1st order information. That straight forward directly linked information and data. Issue X affects Y# of people, for Z reasons. Even if it takes a while to crunch through the data, it’s still straight forward. But that data isn’t enough, and solutions built as a result aren’t enough either. This is why it’s important in engineering, or any other development or service role, is to both listen and observe.
Quick story: Went to my stylist a few weeks ago for a cut/color. He asked if it would be ok to let one of his understudies (? I’m not sure what they are called.. interns? *shoulder shrug*) to give me a consultation while he watched to give her the experience. The whole point of the exercise? Spend time really digging down into what I wanted, what I needed, and to make sure expectations were met. That first order data point of “I want red” wasn’t enough. Use examples, build on a common connection point. Bring over the color swatches to review. Be concrete to help make the best decision. Bring your experience and expertise into the discussion to help build a better solution, but make sure it's something that works for the client.
He hit on a very key point. Can you really solve a problem if you don’t understand those intangible bits of information? Those non-direct or obvious nuggets of context and understanding? Knowing and understanding what “red” means to me, is key. If she went with what she thought of as “red”, I’d probably be in a corner somewhere crying in a fetal position. You can't talk or describe colors with someone and expect to be on the same page. You need common experience, you need real concrete examples to connect the internal brain images.
Can you come up with solutions to help impoverished kids do well in school if you've never been "lunch shamed" (or even know what I'm talking about)?
When I look around, I see people problem solving with no idea of what it’s like to survive or be victimized by the problems they are solving. Men working on women’s policies, rich people discussing lack of insurance, private school parents trying to fix public schools, white people trying to explain racism, young people deciding where old people live, old people complaining that young people need to get a job (and off their lawn), and hippies trying to tell people how to run their businesses.
No wonder things are the way they are right now. Too many people, with good intentions I’m sure, are developing solutions for problems they’ve never faced in places they’ve never been (or have long since forgotten). The most egregious is rich people trying to solve poor people's problems. This just leads to policies that aren't sufficient, which continues the cycle of poverty and lack of opportunities, which continues the lack of understanding at levels where policies get made.
We shouldn't assume we know how to fix someone else's problems. Maybe we should focus on helping them build better solutions.
We need to remember to dig deep, talk to people who know (or better yet, involve them in the discussion), listen, and remember - you know nothing.
** By the way, I recommend the Revisionist History podcast.
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