Streaming ruined (the memory of) my childhood

What kid growing up in the 80’s didn’t love cartoons?  Every Saturday morning and right after school, I’d watch all of them (GI Joe, Thundercats, My Little Pony, She-Ra/He-Man, etc).

Fast forward a few…. Uhh.. years…. and I’m a happy Amazon Prime and Netflix customer.  I happen to notice that the Thundercats were just picked up on Prime.  Awesome!  I can relive part of my childhood, right?  One Saturday, I go buy a box of Fruity Pebbles and some unsweetened almond milk.  Why?  Fruity Pebbles are the BEST CEREAL EVER and Almond milk because my ability to handle whey protein disappeared along with my youth.

I make my cereal, load up Prime and start listening to one of the best cartoon theme songs ever (at least from the 80’s.. and maybe only bested by DuckTales). I actually sung along with it, as was the norm as a kid.

If you are wondering: yes, I fully realize I’m a ginormous nerd. I also judge people on how they know Nathan Fillion, and still get angry every time I think about the Superman trailer where music from LoTR was re-used. #1 Superman desires original music and #2 don’t defile Gandalf’s death by reusing scene music. *deep cleansing breath*

Anyways, back to the point.  I load up the first episode, munch my cereal, and start to relive a good memory from my childhood.  Unfortunately, the more I watched, the more of my adult brain  became completely and utterly repulsed at the lack of logic these characters showed.  I always thought I was a smart savvy kid.  Watching, I realized I was wrong.  So.  Very.  Wrong.

Within the first 2-3 episodes, I just couldn’t take the poor logic and plot holes anymore.  Hey, the prince wants to wander around in a forest of an unknown planet alone?  Sure, sounds like a great idea! (Said no one ever, except in cartoons).  Stasis pods where only one person ages and he looks like the cartoon anthropomorphic lion equivalent of The Rock?  Sure, makes perfect sense.

So, I gave up on Thundercats, and moved on to something else.  Hrmm.. My Little Pony the Movie.  Another bad move.  I don’t want to remember. Please make it stop.

But, it can’t all be bad?  I rewatched episodes of He-Man, She-Ra, Jem, GI Joe.  Ugh.  My memories of my childhood have been tainted.  As I looked online to figure out if I’m just taking things too personally, this did help. “Hefner’s pet rat”.  Classic.

I ran across a Youtube video (which I apparently can no longer find), in which a cartoonist explains why these old cartoons are the way they are.  Small bits plot for kids who naturally can’t handle big complex ideas.  Makes sense.  Makes sense until I watched some newer cartoons.  The reboots of MLP and Voltron seem pretty solid.  Actually, the New Voltron is pretty funny.  I saw Warner Bros put out a reboot of Thundercats in 2011 (haven’t watched it, as it isn’t gratis).  

Are kids just more savvy these days?  Or, are production companies using today’s parents’ affinity for cartoons in sync with their children to create marketing opportunities?  Blending better storylines to make the shows more palatable to parents, therefore making them more likely to buy toys for their kids?

Regardless, my childhood is ruined, but at least I have some awesome reboots to console me.

Weed, Not Jesus, Would Have Saved Us From Trump

Sorry, Jesus, but the real savior we needed in 2016 was marijuana.

*await smiting for 1 minute*

*nothing happens*

*opens one eye*

*opens other eye*

Ok, maybe I’m safe.  Or, maybe Jesus agrees that America needs help to chill out.  Let’s face it, too much wine only leads to cat fights, and that’s pretty much what we’ve had for the past year.

About a week ago, Bloomberg posted a article about “Deaths of Despair”.  Apparently, the majority of opioid overdoses are surging amongst the white working class.  All other demographics aren’t going in this direction.

Taking a step further, opioids are a gateway to harder drugs, like heroin.  The growth in opioid use is leading to a rise in heroin.

So, opioids lead to heroin, heroin and opioids both lead to overdoses in working class white people.  And what did these people do?  They voted for Trump, according to a Penn State election study:  “Trump over-performed the most in counties with the highest drug, alcohol and suicide mortality rates.”

So what does this have to do with Mary-Jane?  Another study found lowered opioid use in states that have legalized marijuana.

So, legal weed leads to less opioid use which leads to less Heroin which leads to less voting for megalomaniacs who likes to make jokes about sexually assault women. (Yeah, I know… correlation doesn’t imply causality, but work with me here.)

We should have legalized weed a long time ago.  We’d be much more chill, much less dependent upon opioids and possibly have a better president.  Maybe we should work towards legalizing it to keep this from happening 2020+?

I must admit, the immature part of me just wants to see the Weed 2020 political slogans...

"There’s Hope in Hash"

"Let them eat Space Cake"

"Welcome to the Bong Show"

"High Times"

"Sorry, too busy blazin' to start wars"

"We are going to light up this joint!"

What would be your slogan?

The Single Disability

I had planned on writing an entirely different blog this week, but decided to change my mind after going to the movies tonight.

I’ll be straight with you, I’m a person who spends quite a bit of time alone - mostly due to my introverted nature and social awkwardness.  I’m ok with being alone for the most part.  Times that I’m not?  They usually involve storms, large spiders or lawn care.  I.  Hate.  Lawn.  Work.

I never let being a party of one hamper my style.  I still go out to see the moving picture shows, travel, go out to dinner, shop, and do everything normal people do.  I get occasional looks, but for the most part it’s fine.  I enjoy myself, and go home to a house that is set to just the right temperature for me.

Other times, it gets awkward - mainly due to other people.  Take tonight for example - I buy two tickets to go see a new movie.  I forget to see if any friends want to go see it with me.  No problem, I’ll just go by myself and have a seat open next to me in what will more than likely be a really crowded theater.  This theater has reserved seating, so I paid for two particular seats. I’m golden.  I don’t have to worry about fighting over getting a cupholder.

Just before the movie starts, it happens.  What every person who has ever go anywhere alone absolutely LOATHES beyond all loathing… “Is anyone sitting here?” 

Mutha@#%!^

“I want to sit next to my son” this guy tells me.  The son looks to be at least in his teens or later, so it’s not like daddy needs to watch him.  Again, these are reserved seats, so they apparently bought separate seats.  Maybe his son did it on purpose and I ruined his evening of peace.  I must say, I’m kinda glad I did.  Buy tickets together next time!

Flustered (I mentioned the social awkwardness earlier, right?), I tell he guy “Well, technically, it’s mine, but go ahead and sit there.”  I’m only half an ass and I try to keep it on the inside, most times.

The guy just looks at me and says “Did someone not show up?”  Great, now Mr "I have to babysit my adult son in a rated R movie" thinks I’m some sad woman who’s been stood up.  “Can you get a refund?”  /facepalm.  “Seriously, if you don’t use it can you get a refund?” 

Can someone PLEASE stop this conversation before I stab him with my ICEE straw.  It’s a Wild Cherry ICEE, so no one would notice the blood, right?

Finally, I convince him it’s fine (btw - how did it turn into convincing him to take my damn seat?  What. The. Hell????) and he sits down and the movie starts.  I’m now sitting with people on BOTH sides of me.  And, of course, both people have very long arms with elbows flying out like albatrosses.  For you tall people reading this, I realize things aren’t easy for you.  But, just because I’m short doesn’t mean I enjoy getting elbowed CONSTANTLY (unless you happen to be cute - momma can work with that).

Luckily, it was a great movie that I enjoyed and eventually stopped stressing.  I just wish solo folks would get more consideration than we do around town.

Here are a few examples of what it's like running solo:

Seating - as described above in the movie scenario.  Also, in pew-like seats, I’ve found that if you are alone, you get squeezed more.  If you are a family with kids, people don’t sit next to you.  Oh, and some families tend to take up a lot of space in pews.  You know who you are, and now you know I see you and the fact you take up space for 8 with your party of four.  Gluttony is a sin.

Restaurants - You run into that awkward moment when you need to use the restroom and you aren't sure how your wait-person will take it.  Will they think I dined and dashed?  Will they clear my table and sit someone there while I’m gone?  It’s worse in the late spring through early fall because you don’t have a jacket to leave behind indicating you haven’t actually “left”.

Traveling - If you travel with someone, at least one of you has a window or aisle seat and you can invade or lean in to each other's space.  What I HATE is when I’m sitting next to couples or families that think they can invade my space just as much as they can invade their partner's.  Lady - back the hell up, because we are about ready to have a 2 hour delay and a visit from an air marshal.

Once you land at the airport, you have to take all your carry-on luggage with you when you go to the restroom.  If you are coming back from a long trip overseas, you have a LOT of crap to deal with..in a bathroom stall with about 30 other women trying to get in and out to catch their next flight.  And, to spice things up, everyone is MAD about something.  I won’t start on the food court situation.

Random Do-gooders - They see someone alone, and feel sorry for them, so they incessantly talk to them so they don't feel so alone. Listen, I appreciate it, but I had headphones in for a reason.  I don't have a high smalltalk skill (I typically roll a 1 when faced with this type of encounter), and it usually makes me feel even worse if no one had spoken to me for the rest of my life.

I could go on, but I’m tired of being passive aggressive about this whole seat situation.  Writing this has worked it’s magic and now I am back in my happy place.

Just do me a favor next time you see someone solo - give them some space.