Why do you need to know this?

I just want to live my life.  I don’t want to talk about things with people when I feel it has absolutely no bearing on anything.  There are things I consider on a “need to know” basis.  Think I’m kidding?  Talk to my mom.  She thinks talking to me is like talking to brick wall that’s been plastered over with concrete and left in a vault at Ft Knox.

For some reason, people feel like they have a right to ask questions.  

An Example: my ear has decided it no longer wants to work appropriately and, as any normal person would do, I went to see the doctor this week at the walk in clinic at work.

I walk in and am handed a clipboard with some pages on it.  “Fill out these pages.”

I start reading through the questions figuring it had to do with past medical history and any meds the doctor should know about.

This is a sampling of what I found across 4 pages.  Yes.  FOUR pages.

• “What’s your level of personal stress?”  Was fine until I got this 4 page survey, of which only 25% dealt with my medical history.
• “What’s your level of stress at your job?” See previous response.
• “Do you have feelings of hopelessness?” I do while filling out this survey.
• “Do you sleep at night?” I may not as I feel my personal privacy has been violated beyond what it needs to be.

Oh, then finally this beauty - 

• “Which response best describes this statement: My partners and I use condoms: [Always], [Occasionally], [in monogamous relationship], or [Not having sex/does not apply]?”

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MY EAR?!   What does ANY OF THIS have to do with my ear?

PSA:  If sex has anything to do with your ear YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!!! Or, you have some weird fetish thing that I don’t want to know about, but you consider therapy.

On some weird adult level, I get it. People are asking questions to make sure they are looking out for me.  But, I’m a grown ass adult. I’m just here for my ear, not a gynecological exam.

I’m not in pain, I'm not bleeding.  I’m not dizzy, lightheaded, or otherwise think I’m Marie Antoinette (but I do believe in eating cake).

Just stick the lighty-thing in my ear, tell me it's an infection (or some weird wax buildup), and let me know what I need to do to make it better. 

That’s all I need.

It’s all you should need, too.

The Not Giving a !@$ Tree

Angry tirade incoming...

The Giving Tree (by Shel Silverstein) would make me cry when I was younger.  The tree was such a heartbreaking tale to me, but I could never quite put my finger on why it affected me so much.  Silverstein was writing a story about the Joy that comes from selfless love.  Why did it make me sad?  When I really started to think about the story as an adult, I started to understand my underlying feelings.  That sadness turned to anger.

I know, a kids book? Anger?  Really?

Let me explain.

Now, interpretations of the story have the tree as a mother or friend.  I'd argue that there could also be a romantic relationship interpretation.  The following can apply in any of the interpretations.

The boy uses the tree.  She wants him with her, so she does everything she can to make him happy.  At first, it's apples.  Then, leaves and branches.  Finally, she gets chopped down leaving her nothing but a stump.  She gave up her essential self as a tree for someone else.  Someone else who didn't seem concerned by the loss of who she was, as long as he got what he wanted.

He never said thank you.  He never said he loved her.  He left her to pursue other women.  He hallowed her out, depriving anyone else of enjoying what she had to offer.  When all she has left is a stump, what does he do?  He sits on her.  He <edited for coarseness> her!  And, she was HAPPY?

This is exactly what is wrong with our society.  We glamorize the wrong kinds of sacrifices and set up the wrong examples of healthy relationships.

We tell little girls that this is what you do in a relationship.  Give until there's nothing left and be happy about it.  Put your happiness in someone else besides yourself.  Follow someone else's purpose for you, not the purpose God has laid out for you.

I do believe that sacrifices are essential parts to living a disciplined, purposeful life. Those sacrifices, however, need to be the right kind.  The kind that help mold you into a better version of yourself and purpose (some might interpret this more as passion, either works).

You sacrifice partying to get through school.  You sacrifice money to spend more quality time with family.  You sacrifice your time taking care of a loved one.  You sacrifice popularity, opportunities, and friendships to do what's right.

There's nothing wrong with sacrifice, as long as it isn't a sacrifice of your core self.

The Giving Tree compromised her essential self by giving everything she had away in order to be happy with just that one boy.  She went from healthy, fruit bearing tree to lifeless stump.

Who considers this healthy life choice?

This is why I get so angry with this book.  People read it to their impressionable children as a "good" story.  It isn't.  Not even close.  I would not want any child of mine to think this is acceptable behavior out of their friends or romantic partners.  Pick people who help you grow, not those who cut you down and strip you bare.

No healthy relationship should require you to sacrifice who you are or your essential purpose in life.  If you find this difficult to understand - I have better things to do and they don't include you.



If I were to rewrite this book? I'd call it The Not Giving-a-@#% Tree.

• Want to have some of my apples?  Fine, don't be greedy and leave some for others.
• Want to swing in my branches?  Fine, just play nice with others.
• Want to build a house?  Fine, build it out of that heifer you are running off with.
• Want a place to sit down? Fine, you can bring a chair or sit your behind down on the grass.
• Want me to be anything else other than a tree?  I don't give a @#%, I'm a tree.  Deal with it.

Streaming ruined (the memory of) my childhood

What kid growing up in the 80’s didn’t love cartoons?  Every Saturday morning and right after school, I’d watch all of them (GI Joe, Thundercats, My Little Pony, She-Ra/He-Man, etc).

Fast forward a few…. Uhh.. years…. and I’m a happy Amazon Prime and Netflix customer.  I happen to notice that the Thundercats were just picked up on Prime.  Awesome!  I can relive part of my childhood, right?  One Saturday, I go buy a box of Fruity Pebbles and some unsweetened almond milk.  Why?  Fruity Pebbles are the BEST CEREAL EVER and Almond milk because my ability to handle whey protein disappeared along with my youth.

I make my cereal, load up Prime and start listening to one of the best cartoon theme songs ever (at least from the 80’s.. and maybe only bested by DuckTales). I actually sung along with it, as was the norm as a kid.

If you are wondering: yes, I fully realize I’m a ginormous nerd. I also judge people on how they know Nathan Fillion, and still get angry every time I think about the Superman trailer where music from LoTR was re-used. #1 Superman desires original music and #2 don’t defile Gandalf’s death by reusing scene music. *deep cleansing breath*

Anyways, back to the point.  I load up the first episode, munch my cereal, and start to relive a good memory from my childhood.  Unfortunately, the more I watched, the more of my adult brain  became completely and utterly repulsed at the lack of logic these characters showed.  I always thought I was a smart savvy kid.  Watching, I realized I was wrong.  So.  Very.  Wrong.

Within the first 2-3 episodes, I just couldn’t take the poor logic and plot holes anymore.  Hey, the prince wants to wander around in a forest of an unknown planet alone?  Sure, sounds like a great idea! (Said no one ever, except in cartoons).  Stasis pods where only one person ages and he looks like the cartoon anthropomorphic lion equivalent of The Rock?  Sure, makes perfect sense.

So, I gave up on Thundercats, and moved on to something else.  Hrmm.. My Little Pony the Movie.  Another bad move.  I don’t want to remember. Please make it stop.

But, it can’t all be bad?  I rewatched episodes of He-Man, She-Ra, Jem, GI Joe.  Ugh.  My memories of my childhood have been tainted.  As I looked online to figure out if I’m just taking things too personally, this did help. “Hefner’s pet rat”.  Classic.

I ran across a Youtube video (which I apparently can no longer find), in which a cartoonist explains why these old cartoons are the way they are.  Small bits plot for kids who naturally can’t handle big complex ideas.  Makes sense.  Makes sense until I watched some newer cartoons.  The reboots of MLP and Voltron seem pretty solid.  Actually, the New Voltron is pretty funny.  I saw Warner Bros put out a reboot of Thundercats in 2011 (haven’t watched it, as it isn’t gratis).  

Are kids just more savvy these days?  Or, are production companies using today’s parents’ affinity for cartoons in sync with their children to create marketing opportunities?  Blending better storylines to make the shows more palatable to parents, therefore making them more likely to buy toys for their kids?

Regardless, my childhood is ruined, but at least I have some awesome reboots to console me.